Thursday, 15 May 2014

A Hilarious Review On A ThoughtWorks Interview

Now, every Ex-ThoughtWorks friend of mine warned me to not go the company for discussions. But I really needed to find out why they were all asking me not to go. They also requested me to not make fun of the interviewers on their faces.

The first round of discussion was with two people. One of them seemed ready for some kind of war, while the other sported an expression which would steal all the smiles away from Jim Carrey's face. I was already looking forward to the exciting opportunity of losing an entire form of expression - happiness.

I was there hoping to talk about some of the big data work that ThoughtWorks had proudly displayed on their website:
I was immediately told by them that Big Data is all bovine excretion and that there are more solutions available than problems to solve. I was also told that Thought Works was never planning to become a Big Data house. So I tried to ask why they mentioned it on the website but all I got in response is - we're digressing, and that we needed to get back to the interview. I wondered for a short bit if I was at the Times Now studio in one of their interviews.

We began discussing Java. In two minutes, that discussion turned into a one-sided rage against Java and how the frameworks that people-successfully-used-worldwide-across-millions-of-organizations was the biggest crime of the 21st century, second only to Justin Bieber's shirtlessness. In the 5th minute it was evident that neither of them had any depth in the said frameworks yet had an opinion of its evil monstrosity. They prided on it too. It was like watching Yo Yo Honey Singh expressing his pride over being from UK (in spite of being there for only 2 years). Not to mention the pride over his two Yo(s). It also reminded me of his depth of Rap music.

The two of them tag teamed and took down the various elements of java while all I was thinking was - Man! What is stopping these two from joining Oracle and fixing Java so it can become the most widely used programing platform today? (Apart from the fact that a taser would be used and they’d be removed from the building).

The next set of gentlemen were a fine example of how ThoughtWorks can have the exact replica in "pairs" for both looks and thoughts. Here again, one of them was so devoid of happiness that Pharrel Williams would stop singing his Happy Song. Neither of them wanted to hear anything related to my past experience. Again, both of them lacked depth about frameworks and voila, up came the framework bashing. It was amusing to see such hard opinions created over nothingness. It was all like the glory of watching Himesh Reshammiya express his opinions on the errors of film making.

At the end, I learnt what my Ex-ThoughtWorks friends were trying to explain. The culture revolved about how having an opinion was more important that having knowledge and this opinion is not even self-formed. I also understood why Yo Yo Honey Singh has the right to keep that ridiculous name and be proud of it. At this rate he could obtain a 3rd Yo.

On a serious note, the interview experience was nothing but disappointing. Technology is but a means to solve problems that customers face. There is no need for egotistic attacks during an interview. Companies need to start keeping a check on the attitude and arrogance of their employees, especially during interviews. The panel is the face of the company’s culture. The interviewers and the processes are also being judged by candidates to decide if they are going to like working in the company. Companies should ensure to keep out arrogance as they expand.

Interviewing is a skill on its own. It doesn't come to you one fine day like puberty. Most companies lose out on good people because it's done by random employees who are completely clueless about an effective interview process. It's time employees are trained on how to take interviews before they are allowed to. Candidates have to be assessed for skills that are inclined to what the company needs, not what every random interviewer needs.